Developing a new child-centred, relational approach to adoption
When adoption was identified as the best approach for five-year-old Amy* to live in a permanent family home, it was crucial that the transition from living with her foster carers to her adoptive parents was as smooth as possible. Amy needed to understand why she wasn’t going to be living with her foster carers anymore, be supported to share how she feels and reassured that she can maintain a connection to people in her life who love her. Her birth parents, foster carers and other adults around her needed to have the opportunity to answer any questions she had and share information about her and her life so far. This would help Amy’s new adoptive family to understand her and her needs and enable them to support her to understand her life story as she grows up.
For many people, the word adoption paints a picture of a child joining their “forever family”. This trope (one of many about adoption) appears frequently in books, television and films, and is designed to portray adoption as a ‘new start’, or the notion of a ‘perfect family’ from the off. The reality, however, is often more complicated, as all families are. Although adoption can be a happy and positive outcome that enables many children to live in a safe, loving family home, it’s also a big change in any child’s life. A change that can come with, understandably, a variety of feelings and emotions relating to new family dynamics and relationships. Often, for a child, adoption is also intrinsically tied to loss and insecurity, and they will be processing their experiences over time.
To help navigate this and find the most suitable families for children, it is important for adoption services to support everyone involved in the adoption process: the child and all the key adults responsible for their care and wellbeing. However, to provide support in the most effective way, particularly for a child, it is essential that this is underpinned by caring, trusting, consistent relationships.
When adoption was identified as the best approach for five-year-old Amy* to live in a permanent family home, it was crucial that the transition from living with her foster carers to her adoptive parents was as smooth as possible. Amy needed to understand why she wasn’t going to be living with her foster carers anymore, be supported to share how she feels and reassured that she can maintain a connection to people in her life who love her. Her birth parents, foster carers and other adults around her needed to have the opportunity to answer any questions she had and share information about her and her life so far. This would help Amy’s new adoptive family to understand her and her needs and enable them to support her to understand her life story as she grows up.
For many people, the word adoption paints a picture of a child joining their “forever family”. This trope (one of many about adoption) appears frequently in books, television and films, and is designed to portray adoption as a ‘new start’, or the notion of a ‘perfect family’ from the off. The reality, however, is often more complicated, as all families are. Although adoption can be a happy and positive outcome that enables many children to live in a safe, loving family home, it’s also a big change in any child’s life. A change that can come with, understandably, a variety of feelings and emotions relating to new family dynamics and relationships. Often, for a child, adoption is also intrinsically tied to loss and insecurity, and they will be processing their experiences over time.
To help navigate this and find the most suitable families for children, it is important for adoption services to support everyone involved in the adoption process: the child and all the key adults responsible for their care and wellbeing. However, to provide support in the most effective way, particularly for a child, it is essential that this is underpinned by caring, trusting, consistent relationships.
A new approach to adoption was needed in Aberdeenshire
In Aberdeenshire Council, the social work adoption team found that this relationship-building process could sometimes prove difficult. In the established local adoption process, built up over several decades of practice, the adoption team often didn’t meet the child until they were already matched with their adoptive family and beginning the transition to their care. Until this point, they were supported by their existing social worker or a family support worker. This meant that the child wasn’t supported as well as they might have been as they moved to their new adoptive home, often losing key relationships in the process and feeling a sense of loss and confusion. When this happened, the child could feel cautious about opening up to an adoption worker having had no chance to get to know them earlier in the process. For the adoption team, having only had the chance to learn about the child through other people and reports, the voice of the child and the people important to them could be lost in the process.
The adoption team knew they needed to develop a new, trauma-informed approach to adoption whereby listening to and understanding the child's voice and lived experiences was central to the adoption process, and children moving to adoption were better supported to ensure connections were kept with the important people in their lives.
This would begin when the child was living with foster carers, before they’re even aware of the adoption, and go on until they were settled in their adoptive family. Although other practitioners would also be involved at certain points, having one key person present throughout the adoption process would ensure consistent support and inclusion that focused on the child.
To bring this vision to life and dedicate the time and capacity to this approach, it was clear to Aberdeenshire Council that an entirely new role was needed – that of a Therapeutic Transition Social Worker (TTSW). The TTSW would be from a social work background and have no statutory duties, giving them the availability and flexibility to focus on supporting the child (or children if the adoption included brothers and sisters), their carers, adoptive family and the adoption team during the entire adoption process. After being awarded funding to recruit one TTSW for two years, someone was appointed to the position in March 2023.
In Aberdeenshire Council, the social work adoption team found that this relationship-building process could sometimes prove difficult. In the established local adoption process, built up over several decades of practice, the adoption team often didn’t meet the child until they were already matched with their adoptive family and beginning the transition to their care. Until this point, they were supported by their existing social worker or a family support worker. This meant that the child wasn’t supported as well as they might have been as they moved to their new adoptive home, often losing key relationships in the process and feeling a sense of loss and confusion. When this happened, the child could feel cautious about opening up to an adoption worker having had no chance to get to know them earlier in the process. For the adoption team, having only had the chance to learn about the child through other people and reports, the voice of the child and the people important to them could be lost in the process.
The adoption team knew they needed to develop a new, trauma-informed approach to adoption whereby listening to and understanding the child's voice and lived experiences was central to the adoption process, and children moving to adoption were better supported to ensure connections were kept with the important people in their lives.
This would begin when the child was living with foster carers, before they’re even aware of the adoption, and go on until they were settled in their adoptive family. Although other practitioners would also be involved at certain points, having one key person present throughout the adoption process would ensure consistent support and inclusion that focused on the child.
To bring this vision to life and dedicate the time and capacity to this approach, it was clear to Aberdeenshire Council that an entirely new role was needed – that of a Therapeutic Transition Social Worker (TTSW). The TTSW would be from a social work background and have no statutory duties, giving them the availability and flexibility to focus on supporting the child (or children if the adoption included brothers and sisters), their carers, adoptive family and the adoption team during the entire adoption process. After being awarded funding to recruit one TTSW for two years, someone was appointed to the position in March 2023.
Building relationships from the very beginning
The TTSW knew that they needed to focus on building relationships with the children and the adults involved in their care much earlier in the adoption process. To do this, they created a new process which involved the TTSW receiving a referral from the child’s social worker once it had been decided that adoption was in the best interests of the child and their needs. The referral captures key information about the child and their early life from their social worker and after reading the referral, the TTSW then links in with the child, their foster carers, and social worker to begin to develop a relationship. At this stage, the child’s future adoptive family hasn’t yet been identified, nor has the child introduced to the decision around their adoption yet: the focus is solely on building relationships with the child and the adults around them.
The TTSW focuses on working directly with each person involved. With the child, this is largely done through ‘Theraplay’, a therapy-based form of play designed to create playful and caring child-adult interactions focused on joy, positive attachment, and self-esteem. At this stage, the TTSW undertakes Theraplay sessions with the child and their foster carers (with the adoptive family joining later in the process, once the adoption has been confirmed). Together, they play games that are designed to encourage connection such as singing songs and reading books together. As the sessions progress and a relationship develops, the Theraplay sessions help the TTSW and the foster carers to better understand the way the child responds to certain things and helps to create a trusted connection between them all. It also helps the TTSW, child and foster carers to create artwork together centred around the child’s birth family and the circumstances around their adoption:
“We talk a lot about the books we read that are often about things like feeling safe, why they might not live with their birth parents and that sort of thing. Sometimes we focus on reciprocal play, as a lot of the children we work with haven’t always had that relationship with their birth parents, so playing peekaboo or playing in the garden… and sometimes we’ll do more direct work like going over a child’s life journey with them and looking at the ‘timeline’ of their life.”
Amy* is five years old and lives in Aberdeenshire. She spent the first two years of her life living with her mum, Tina*, and because of circumstances at home, she has lived with foster carers, Andrew* and Becky* for the last three years. Looking forward, the plan for Amy is adoption.
The TTSW is introduced to Amy and her foster carers. After some initial ‘getting to know you’ conversations, they start meeting regularly for Theraplay sessions.
Through these Theraplay sessions the TTSW develops an understanding of Amy’s personality, strengths, and challenges. The TTSW also spends time with Andrew and Becky to discuss why Amy sometimes responds to things in certain ways. This helps them to understand what’s behind the ways in which Amy is communicating her needs and her behaviour and the TTSW recommends some new caring techniques for them to try at home.
These help Amy to have a less anxious attachment to Andrew and Becky and builds up a picture of her preferences and personality that will be helpful when it comes to identifying and preparing the most suitable, loving, adoptive family for her. At the same time, Andrew and Becky feel supported, valued and included in the process.
Amy* is five years old and lives in Aberdeenshire. She spent the first two years of her life living with her mum, Tina*, and because of circumstances at home, she has lived with foster carers, Andrew* and Becky* for the last three years. Looking forward, the plan for Amy is adoption.
The TTSW is introduced to Amy and her foster carers. After some initial ‘getting to know you’ conversations, they start meeting regularly for Theraplay sessions.
Through these Theraplay sessions the TTSW develops an understanding of Amy’s personality, strengths, and challenges. The TTSW also spends time with Andrew and Becky to discuss why Amy sometimes responds to things in certain ways. This helps them to understand what’s behind the ways in which Amy is communicating her needs and her behaviour and the TTSW recommends some new caring techniques for them to try at home.
These help Amy to have a less anxious attachment to Andrew and Becky and builds up a picture of her preferences and personality that will be helpful when it comes to identifying and preparing the most suitable, loving, adoptive family for her. At the same time, Andrew and Becky feel supported, valued and included in the process.
Bringing people together
After spending time getting to know a child, their foster family, and social worker, the TTSW sets about organising an Understanding the Child Day (UCD). The UCD is a new practice established when the TTSW came into post, and is an in-person, multi-agency day that focuses on developing a much more holistic picture of a child. All adults who are significantly involved in the care and wellbeing of the child, including their foster carers, social workers, teachers and health visitors, are invited to come along and contribute. The purpose of the day is to share information to build a better understanding of the child and their needs, which will also help in finding and preparing the possible adoptive family for the child when that stage of the process is reached.
To prepare for the day, the TTSW gathers as much information as they can about the child: they speak with the adults who will be attending, read the child’s social work files, and gather information from the child’s Theraplay sessions. The TTSW then starts the process of developing the child’s life story work; a practice that helps to compile a personal narrative of the child’s life so far using a visual timeline. The timeline maps out significant events in the child’s life, including the people who have been involved in their care, key dates, milestones, and stories. The child’s artwork and other outputs from the Theraplay sessions are also incorporated to help make the timeline unique to the child’s personal story.
Once the TTSW has the timeline shaped up, they arrange a date for an Understanding the Child Day, when the adults come together to consider the timeline and share their experience of the child. This day helps everyone to think about the child and their future: what do the child’s earliest experiences tell us about them and their needs? Who are they as a person? What might they need in a new family and home to help them thrive?
The timeline also contains information about the child’s birth parents, part of an essential conversation that hasn’t always been included in adopted children’s experiences:
“…A lot of the time we see information shared about birth parents…in quite a negative way, and in terms of what they weren’t able to do. The reality is that, for many children, it wasn’t always bad in every situation, and while it’s important for the child to understand the full circumstances of their adoption as they grow up, it’s also important for them to have information about the times when things were good and when they shared nice times together with their birth parents. My role in this work is partly to bring everyone together to get that clearer view of things… it puts the jigsaw together and gives everyone the whole picture of the child’s life.”
After spending time getting to know a child, their foster family, and social worker, the TTSW sets about organising an Understanding the Child Day (UCD). The UCD is a new practice established when the TTSW came into post, and is an in-person, multi-agency day that focuses on developing a much more holistic picture of a child. All adults who are significantly involved in the care and wellbeing of the child, including their foster carers, social workers, teachers and health visitors, are invited to come along and contribute. The purpose of the day is to share information to build a better understanding of the child and their needs, which will also help in finding and preparing the possible adoptive family for the child when that stage of the process is reached.
To prepare for the day, the TTSW gathers as much information as they can about the child: they speak with the adults who will be attending, read the child’s social work files, and gather information from the child’s Theraplay sessions. The TTSW then starts the process of developing the child’s life story work; a practice that helps to compile a personal narrative of the child’s life so far using a visual timeline. The timeline maps out significant events in the child’s life, including the people who have been involved in their care, key dates, milestones, and stories. The child’s artwork and other outputs from the Theraplay sessions are also incorporated to help make the timeline unique to the child’s personal story.
Once the TTSW has the timeline shaped up, they arrange a date for an Understanding the Child Day, when the adults come together to consider the timeline and share their experience of the child. This day helps everyone to think about the child and their future: what do the child’s earliest experiences tell us about them and their needs? Who are they as a person? What might they need in a new family and home to help them thrive?
The timeline also contains information about the child’s birth parents, part of an essential conversation that hasn’t always been included in adopted children’s experiences:
“…A lot of the time we see information shared about birth parents…in quite a negative way, and in terms of what they weren’t able to do. The reality is that, for many children, it wasn’t always bad in every situation, and while it’s important for the child to understand the full circumstances of their adoption as they grow up, it’s also important for them to have information about the times when things were good and when they shared nice times together with their birth parents. My role in this work is partly to bring everyone together to get that clearer view of things… it puts the jigsaw together and gives everyone the whole picture of the child’s life.”
At the Understanding the Child Day, the adults enjoy reading and contributing to Amy’s visual timeline and love seeing the artwork made at the Theraplay sessions. Everyone feels hopeful that Amy will one day be able to look back at everything that has been created and feel connected to the people who have loved and cared for her
Seeing everyone involved in Amy’s life mapped out in this way also helps the adults to connect with and understand Amy’s life to date and how her experience may have impacted on her as a person. For example, Amy’s health visitor and foster carers share information with the other adults in the room about how Amy’s circumstances in her early life mean that she sometimes struggles to eat at mealtimes, particularly if she isn’t in the safety of her own home.
This information and the timeline help the UCD group to understand how Amy’s response to food has been formed by a traumatic life experience, and that she needs specific care and reassurance around food to feel safe. This enables everyone in the room to think about Amy’s life, strengths and challenges in a more holistic way. In turn, they have a much clearer picture of what Amy will need in a future adoptive family, for example, a family that is largely based at home, is calm, and can support Amy to feel safe at mealtimes.
At the Understanding the Child Day, the adults enjoy reading and contributing to Amy’s visual timeline and love seeing the artwork made at the Theraplay sessions. Everyone feels hopeful that Amy will one day be able to look back at everything that has been created and feel connected to the people who have loved and cared for her.
Seeing everyone involved in Amy’s life mapped out in this way also helps the adults to connect with and understand Amy’s life to date and how her experience may have impacted on her as a person. For example, Amy’s health visitor and foster carers share information with the other adults in the room about how Amy’s circumstances in her early life mean that she sometimes struggles to eat at mealtimes, particularly if she isn’t in the safety of her own home.
This information and the timeline help the UCD group to understand how Amy’s response to food has been formed by a traumatic life experience, and that she needs specific care and reassurance around food to feel safe. This enables everyone in the room to think about Amy’s life, strengths and challenges in a more holistic way. In turn, they have a much clearer picture of what Amy will need in a future adoptive family, for example, a family that is largely based at home, is calm, and can support Amy to feel safe at mealtimes.
Supporting the transition from foster care to adoption
After the Understanding a Child Day, the TTSW continues the Theraplay sessions with the child and their foster carer to further develop their relationships, while also preparing everyone for the next steps. At the same time, the adoption team uses the information gathered from the day to think through and identify which prospective adoptive family would be a good match for the child.
A key important part of the matching process is that any prospective family can access some initial information about the child. Aberdeenshire considered how this information had previously been presented and could see how sometimes a focus on needs above all didn’t give a full or accurate picture of the child or their strengths. Since the TTSW has been in post, a new, more detailed and robust process for linking and matching has been developed, including a referral form that has been developed which is written in the child’s voice by the child’s social worker - the same referral form that the adoption team receives.
The referral includes information about child’s life, including their strengths, their family tree, the people who are important to them, and the reasons as to why they can’t grow up with their birth parents or another member of their birth family. This referral and life story material (which at this stage is anonymised) are shared with the prospective family in stages so they are supported to learn about the child’s story in a way that is focused on empathy and understanding for both the child and their birth family. The prospective family can then consider the child’s needs and, with the support of their social worker, can identify their capacity to meet this need. The final part of the matching process is to bring together a bespoke adoption support plan to ensure the early weeks and months of the child’s life in an adoptive family is fully supported.
After a prospective family has been identified, the TTSW continues to build their relationship with the child as the move is being planned and prepared, specifically, supporting the child and all the adults so that they know what’s going to happen and can anticipate what to expect during the transition to adoption process. The positive relationships that the TTSW has helped to facilitate are essential as the child will often look to their foster carers and trusted adults for reassurance. Ensuring that everyone has a good relationship and is on the same page in terms of the messaging that the child receives helps to create a sense of trust and safety for them and assures them that the connections they currently have will be maintained.
Once the child has moved to their prospective adoptive family and is living in their new home, the TTSW continues to work directly with them and their adoptive parents. Theraplay sessions are arranged with the family to help forge closer relationships and help the adoptive parents to best understand how they can support their child. Most importantly, by this stage, the TTSW has been a consistent support for the child and the adults involved throughout the entire process, from start to finish, something that will continue until the child is settled in their new home.
Once Amy’s adoptive family has been identified, the TTSW begins to prepare Amy for the next stage by developing her understanding of her current care, why she doesn’t live with her birth parents anymore, and what adoption will mean for her. Together, they draw, play and map out what the next few months will look like for Amy, so that she can anticipate milestones like meeting her new adoptive family. Amy is encouraged to say how she’s feeling and talk about her memories too, both happy and sad.
The TTSW helps Amy make a life story book that includes lots of photos of her family, carers, and the people that are important to her. Amy’s foster family all contribute to the book and they make a family tree made of everyone’s handprints.
By this point, the TTSW has been working directly with Amy for ten months. Both the relationship-building and Theraplay sessions – which continue, now with her new adoptive family - have helped Amy to feel prepared and supported for her life with her adoptive family. Although it’s a big change, Amy feels connected to everyone who loves and values her. Her handprint family tree is hung on her bedroom wall in her adoptive home, and her adoptive family continue to add new photos and pictures to her life story book.
Once Amy’s adoptive family has been identified, the TTSW begins to prepare Amy for the next stage by developing her understanding of her current care, why she doesn’t live with her birth parents anymore, and what adoption will mean for her. Together, they draw, play and map out what the next few months will look like for Amy, so that she can anticipate milestones like meeting her new adoptive family. Amy is encouraged to say how she’s feeling and talk about her memories too, both happy and sad.
The TTSW helps Amy make a life story book that includes lots of photos of her family, carers, and the people that are important to her. Amy’s foster family all contribute to the book and they make a family tree made of everyone’s handprints.
By this point, the TTSW has been working directly with Amy for ten months. Both the relationship-building and Theraplay sessions – which continue, now with her new adoptive family - have helped Amy to feel prepared and supported for her life with her adoptive family. Although it’s a big change, Amy feels connected to everyone who loves and values her. Her handprint family tree is hung on her bedroom wall in her adoptive home, and her adoptive family continue to add new photos and pictures to her life story book.
The power of building meaningful relationships
Almost two years into the pilot, feedback from children, families and practitioners about Aberdeenshire’s new approach to adoption has been overwhelmingly positive. Having a role that is focused on prioritising the child’s needs while they are transitioning from foster care to a permanent home has had a profound impact, helping to ensure that everyone involved in the process has the tools they need to thrive. For the child’s foster carers and other adults involved in their care, the TTSW facilitates opportunities for them to develop relationships with each other, contributing to a fuller story of the child’s life, and providing more targeted, personalised support to the child. For the workforce, the role of the TTSW creates additional capacity and scaffolding, enabling children and families’ social workers and other members of the adoption team to focus on their specific roles in the process, while knowing that the child and adults involved are all receiving consistent direct support. Most importantly, for the child, the warm, consistent relationship and presence of the TTSW and the direct work undertaken with everyone involved ensures the child’s voice and experiences are always central in the adoption process. This relational, nurturing approach helps the child to feel loved, cared for, and ensures they have a much more secure sense of self and identity, something that can be carried with them as they grow up:
“Now [that] we have a TTSW we can see that this has been the missing ingredient for all these years!...the work done…was really valuable in supporting everyone involved.”
Almost two years into the pilot, feedback from children, families and practitioners about Aberdeenshire’s new approach to adoption has been overwhelmingly positive. Having a role that is focused on prioritising the child’s needs while they are transitioning from foster care to a permanent home has had a profound impact, helping to ensure that everyone involved in the process has the tools they need to thrive. For the child’s foster carers and other adults involved in their care, the TTSW facilitates opportunities for them to develop relationships with each other, contributing to a fuller story of the child’s life, and providing more targeted, personalised support to the child. For the workforce, the role of the TTSW creates additional capacity and scaffolding, enabling children and families’ social workers and other members of the adoption team to focus on their specific roles in the process, while knowing that the child and adults involved are all receiving consistent direct support. Most importantly, for the child, the warm, consistent relationship and presence of the TTSW and the direct work undertaken with everyone involved ensures the child’s voice and experiences are always central in the adoption process. This relational, nurturing approach helps the child to feel loved, cared for, and ensures they have a much more secure sense of self and identity, something that can be carried with them as they grow up:
“Now [that] we have a TTSW we can see that this has been the missing ingredient for all these years!...the work done…was really valuable in supporting everyone involved.”
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Published April 2025 © CELCIS
*Names have been changed to protect the identities of some of the people involved
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